Thanks for asking, You.
Where do I begin?
I think to explain where God has taken me I first need to tell you where I've been.....
Chapter One:
For the last couple of years, I have really struggled with the worship time at our church.
(I can't believe I am saying this out loud)
To be honest with you, the worship time, for me at least, truly has done very little for me as far as....moving me toward God, and as far as "equipping the saints" goes, I have learned more from personal BS and from some great bible teaching on CSN radio.
I think because of the 2 worship services and there being a time constraint and all that that nullifies the movement of the Holy Spirit because we have to out at precisely 12:00, and, uhhhhh...I hate that!
Corporate prayer if so important! and yet, when are we really able to allow the Holy Spirit to move? Are we in bondage to a clock and a schedule????
Anyway, it is NOT my intention to cause dissention and this has been, for the most part, a personal battle, however, I can assure you that I am not the only person struggling with this.
How I have dealt with this has been simply to acknowledge that it is NOT all about me
and that God has a purpose for placing us here and so I continue to seek to serve others joyfully without needing to be served.
Honestly, that has worked fine, because I know that worship before the Lord can be done anywhere, anytime, and I LOVE that! It doesn't have to occur on Sunday mornings, right?
I can look back over the years and see how God was moving in our midst by showing us the importance of loving others and being real with one another.
Goodness, I feel so blessed in the relationships that have been forged through the commitment of friendship and accountablility.
I feel blessed in that area!
All of that to say this:
I have NOT allowed God to speak TRUTH to me over this matter and I allowed my feelings/heart to dictate my actions. In other words, I put my FEELINGS ahead of FAITH and, we all know the heart is deceitful, in essence, I gave the enemy a foothold in my heart which it turned to discontentment over time and because I was not rooted in TRUTH I was virtually blind to it.
What a goober I am!!!!!!
This discontentment has pervaded our household and even my kids and I SAW it for the "first" time yesterday in the heart of my oldest, which broke my heart because I KNEW that I had caused it.
The enemy will take anything we give it, for me it took my "making the best of it" attitude and my "it's not about me" pep-talks, ran with it and almost literally ran me off the road, ALL because my actions were NOT rooted in God's TRUTH.
Chapter Two:
Yesterday, I heard from God.
He spoke TRUTH to me and.....I am no longer blind.
Thank you, Leslie, for your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and for your passion for the Word.
God spoke through you to me and it was like honey in my soul.
It was the TRUTH that caused the scales to fall from my eyes so that I could acknowledge my sin; the sin of Pride.
continued.....
1 comment:
So glad that I was able to hear first hand how God was speaking to you.
Keep on sister!
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